Nikki's Life Advice, is a place for you to ask/discuss anything from Happiness, Life, Relationships, Sex Advice, Dating Advice, Weekend Plans, or any specific questions you have.
This is where my followers can have direct advice from me, and all other viewers.
For questions you would like answered, email nikkiscolumn@yahoo.com
*All emails are kept anonymous*
Tonight and tomorrow there are several open Mic comedy shows in the DC area.
I went to the show last Tuesday, and it's pretty funny! The price is free, so I do recommend you all check it out. Plus, it's been raining, and well, what else is there to do?
Wednesday- Arlington, VA
8:00 p.m.- 10:00 p.m.
Location: Ha- Ha at Ri-Ra in Clarendon (Irish Pub)
There's nothing more challenging to believe, and nothing more rewarding to see than when you overcome the hardest challenge of your life.
Making a Comeback, for those who have experienced it, is one of the best feelings life has to offer. It can be from a relationship, work, or any personal problem.
Some people are going to hit low points in their lives. And some may not.
However, for those who feel that they are in a ditch, and need help making a comeback this post will be of an advantage for you.
Even after Tiger Wood's scandal,
he never gave up.
1. Be Confident
There will be no form of improvement until you are confident with the success you are going to make, and with who you are as a person. In terms of relationships: you will never find true love until you are truly in love with the person you are. Remember what you have to offer, and what sets you apart.
2. Keep a positive attitude
At this point in your life, it may seem like you've hit rock bottom; feels like you're going to get through it.
You're certainly not the only person who has hit a rough patch in their life. Though it may not feel like it, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
3. Do what you're good at
It's pointless to start a new hobby that you're not any good at, and will get frustrated with. Instead start a class that you know you can excel in. It will give you great confidence, which will essentially make you a happier person by the time it's over with.
4. Practice to Improve yourself
Once you find what you're good at, then perfect it. Don't settle for being 'good.' Settle for being 'great.'
5. Enjoy the time with yourself.
Sometimes after we hit rock bottom with work or a relationship- it's natural to want to find the next job or partner to replace your feeling of emptiness. It's okay to take time off for yourself to truly realize what it is that you want. Find yourself- but it can only be done individually (your friend, mother, spouse, former boss cannot tell you what you want to do with your life).
Question: Why do women always need gifts or flowers to feel special and loved?
And Why do the men always have to be spontaneous and romantic? When is it the woman's turn?
-Mr. I want Flowers too (seriously).
Nikki: Men and Women expect different things when they are in relationships. When you grow with your partner in a relationship, you will come to learn things about them that they like, and things that they don't like. For you specifically, it sounds like your girlfriend enjoys getting flowers from you every now and then. That's what she personally enjoys.
Think of the things you like that your Girlfriend does for you. It could be watching a particular sports team that she has no Interest in (but pretends she does for your sake), giving massages/ back scratches, watching you play video games while her favorite show is on.. The list can continue.
Each partner in a relationship is responsible for making their significant other happy. So if your girlfriend wants flowers from time to time, you should definitely send them. Nobody has a bad day after they receive flowers. Now, if you are buying her flowers everyday (to the point of going broke), then you shouldn't do that either. It doesn't sound like that's the problem, though.
They don't need to be extremely extravagant flowers, either. A small bouquet is just as beautiful. It's more so the thought of "you're too sweet for thinking of me like this."
If you really want a dozen of red roses from your girlfriend, then ask her. Sure, it will be out of the norm, but if it's what will make you happy, then tell her.
I've noticed in relationships some partners are more modest about what they want from their partner, so they expect them to be modest too. That's not a good way to think. Just because you aren't speaking up about what you want, doesn't mean your partner isn't supposed to speak up either. It's about communicating what you want.
Men and Women think differently. You're absolutely right that women should be spontaneous too. It's important for both parties to get that. So if you feel like you're not getting the spontaneous treatments that you want, then you have to communicate with your girlfriend. Nothing will change until you openly communicate. Sure, she may get defensive about it (or she may not), but talk. talk. talk. Nicely tell her. It's not a big deal. She won't get offended, and it shouldn't lead to a fight.
And from a woman's perspective: There's truly nothing more special then getting flowers that say "just because I love you." When it's spontaneous like that, you will be a very very happy man.. come night time.
Question: I want to appear confident in front of somebody I'm interested in, but I don't want to seem too cocky. What's the difference, and how should I act?
Nikki: Confident is awesome. Cocky is annoying. Although, I'm sure if I took a poll, I would come to find that there are people out there who are drawn to cocky individuals. Some women may even find it as a turn on, because it resembles a 'bad boy appeal.' For the sake of this question, I'm not pro cocky!
It's also important to remember there is a difference if you're a man or woman.
If you're a Man:
Show you are confident by being chivalrous. My followers already know I am a big fan of someone who is chivalrous. It's true. Being a gentleman truly shows that you are confident with your gender, and who you are as a man.
Ask the woman questions. Don't make it an interview process, but go in depth with certain topics she talks about. Don't just stop the conversation and then bring on a new topic. This requires listening; something that needs to be practiced.
Smile. It always helps your case. Plus, it's hard for a woman to not smile when she is being smiled at.
Give compliments you are genuine about. If you truly don't have anything nice to say at that moment, don't say anything. It's obvious when a man is sincere about what he is saying.
Within the first few conversations learn what the woman is interested in, and take her out somewhere she would like. This is not to say you should always take her out to where she wants (that's not fair, either). However, on the first date, it's a wise choice.
Don't:
Ask a dozen questions back to back, and then ask for her number. It's obvious you were not truly genuine about your intentions.
If you're a Woman:
Your attire says it all. We live in a society where we judge people in 3 seconds based on what they look like. Clean, Ironed, Classic Clothing pieces always work on everybody. Several standard colored shirt, with a nice blazer works for every figure.
Responsibility. There is something admirable about strong women who are independent leaders, and who follow through on their word. They are not afraid to take the reins on different situations.
Don't:
If you're hot stuff, then more power to you. Don't make the world know that you know you're hot stuff. Keep your body parts from hanging out, and be genuine.
Don't take your anger out on random people. If you're having a bad day, it shouldn't spread to everybody else. Go home, unwind, and then go do your errands. Being rude to everybody around you shows that you don't care too much about anybody else but yourself.
If you have sincere intentions, you will always come across as a confident person. Know when to stand your ground. Aside from that a nice person will always be remembered- especially because they are a dying population.
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everybody found themselves home with their families, or at least with somebody they care about.
I was able to see a lot of family from out of town, and had a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner.
Couldn't have asked for more.
I would also like to thank all of our military who is currently serving, and not able to be home for the Holidays. Let's always remember to give thanks to them.
What did everybody end up doing?
Any outrageous Black Friday shopping experiences?
November is the month in which we give Awareness to Diabetes.
A lot of people (until they get Diabetes), do not know exactly what it is.
What is Diabetes: It is a disease that does not allow your body to develop, or properly store Glucose (sugar). The Glucose in your bloodstream begins to buildup, and your blood sugar levels will rise.
Different Types:
Type 1 Diabetes: Your body does not produce any Insulin (which is what your body needs to properly use the Glucose in your body). Daily Insulin Injection is needed.
Type 2 Diabetes: When your body doesn't produce enough Insulin, or is unable to properly use the insulin that it does produce.
Signs of Diabetes:
Frequent Thirst
Gum Infection
Weight Loss
Frequent Urination
(these are the most common signs)
Type 2 Diabetes is the more common type. However, there are ways that you can prevent it from happening.
1. Exercise. Aside from the risk of Diabetes, and all other problems, just do it for the confidence and stress release. Even if it's for 15- 30 minutes. Take a walk outside, or head to the gym. Don't let the cold weather be an excuse- you actually burn more calories in the cold, because your body is trying to heat its self up.
2. Watch your Sugar Intake. There is nothing wrong with sweets now and then. Just don't go overboard (especially with the Artificial Sweeteners).
3. Be aware of your blood pressure. High Blood Pressure usually means you're overweight (which is a good starting point for Diabetes).
Healthy Body starts at a Healthy Weight. Let's take care of ourselves, for a healthy future.
Question: How do you know when to give up on a man that you're interested in?
Nikki: There are a lot of ways to tell if a man is interested in you. There are also a lot of clear signs to tell when somebody is not interested in you. The hardest part can be accepting that he doesn't think of you as all that compatible, even though the signs are there.
First off, if a man is into you he will go after you. Men don't play games, and tend to be confrontational. They also go after what they want. While women may play head games, and try to figure out the best time to call/ text, men will tell you directly.
The second way to tell if a man is interested is by noticing the places he takes you/doesn't take you. If you are not going on actual dates, and find yourself only hanging out around 10 p.m., then it's time to move on. Don't hold on to something that isn't working. You're stronger than that.
Thirdly, Notice the names he calls you by. You are not somebody's buddy, or friend. If you are looking for guy friends (which I do not believe are genuine intentions), then it's okay for them to call you 'buddy, girl, dude'. If you're looking for someone who is romantically interested in you, then they will be polite when they refer to you, and treat you like a lady, and not somebody to hang out with and play video games with.
So to my follower, please remember that you are much stronger. You are able to find a hundred men who would love to be in a relationship with you. There's no reason for you to settle for somebody who calls you 'bud'. It's normal to date around for months, or even years. When the right person comes along (and they will), it will be an instant bond. There's no excuse for a man who are just starting to date, not to show you a good time, treat you like a lady, and not just call you in the evenings.
If you find yourself having trouble meeting men, then think about some local places you can volunteer with, and meet people. Maybe if there is a basketball/ baseball court close to where you live, at the gym, or even online. Online Dating isn't as Taboo as it used to be. It's now very much a social norm. Don't ever feel that you need to settle with someone who doesn't treat you right, just because you feel that you can't meet anybody else.
Today: There is a Free Artist Venue happening in DC
Price: Free
Time: 3-6 p.m.
(post walk reception from 5-6 p.m.)
Where: 2702 and 2902 Georgia Avenue, NW
What: The Georgia Avenue Window Walk will feature Artists John Grunwell, and Emily Sloat Shaw.
It's a beautiful Sunday to come down to DC and check out the art venue. Bring yourself, or friends.
I was looking around my room/ house, and decided I want to change things up with the space. I was looking to add a few pieces that would add some color, and would be tasteful decorating pieces.
Personally, looking outside is the best way to get ideas flowing through my mind.
Tried out some fun ideas, and maybe you'd can take some of these ideas for your own place.
1. Bowl of Red and Green- With the Holidays coming up so soon ( I can't believe it), try to get into the season. It comes once a year, and it's always fun. In your kitchen mix red fruits (think Apples, Pomegranates), with something green (I used limes) into a glass bowl. It's a fun decorating piece, and it's very affordable.
2. Fall Leaves- these leaves are the perfect shades of yellow, green, and red. So grab some of the leaves on the floor (preferably with the some stems) and place them in a vase.
Mix and Match the colors for your vases
3. Candles- Find an abstract piece of wood that you can place in the center of your dining room table. Cut small holes in the wood with a knife, and place candles in them. This idea is a little more time consuming, but the end result looks great.
4. Pumpkins- Something so simple can be used in so many different ways. If you're not a fan of using them for pies- creating pumpkin fall decor are perfect for the season. You can either decorate the pumpkin to what you prefer, and place in front of your door steps, or table. Another idea is simply placing a several small pumpkins in a corner of your kitchen/ living room with some candles, pears, and apples surrounding them. Makes a beautiful center piece.
The Holidays are about family, new beginnings, and a calm you. Practice the things that make you happy, and enjoy your moments with loved ones.
There are two things I find to be the worst things to deal with in everyday life. The first one is not being able to have a successful night's rest, and the rest is being stressed. You could even argue that they both go hand in hand with one another.
This idea of "stress," is something that cannot be cured with medication. We want there to be a cure for it. We want an easy route- pop a pill in every morning, and we're set. Unfortunately, de-stressing requires mental work, and will power. That's why doctors don't prescribe people with 'stress,' because there is no pill that they can prescribe, and essentially make more money.
Personally, I've tried lots of things to help with stress. Reading, Writing, Blogging (?), Yoga. Nothing seemed to work. What I've realized does help is the idea of connecting your breathing, to your body and thoughts. When you take deep breaths, let yourself feel it go through your body, and let go of all thoughts. When you focus on your breathing, you should be taking your mind away from everything else.
Continue the exercise for as long as you need, or several times throughout the day.
Stress creates physical and mental illnesses. It's such a bigger problem, than we make it out to be.
Depression, Anxiety, Cancers are all created when you're body is stressed.
So today, try looking up at the sky. Realize there is more out there than the present. Focus on your breathing, body, and health.
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
~ John Lennon
Question: My Boyfriend and I are Best Friends, but how do I make sure it also stays Romantic? I don't just want to be his "bud."
Nikki: Have you ever noticed people either have the problem of
A. Their partner just wants to have sex, and doesn't take it further.
B. You get too comfortable with one another, and the chemistry isn't fun anymore.
Either option isn't the best of times. One of the reasons couples take vacations is because it allows for them to reconnect with one another. They can try new things that they don't normally do when they're home doing the same routine. Unfortunately, we all don't have the luxury of taking vacations whenever we want (and if you do, more power to you!). Therefore, it's important to find ways ways to relax and try new things with one another.
Cooking- Trying new recipes, and making a Romantic meal once a week, is a great way to add variety to your relationship. It will give you both the opportunity to see what you like/ don't like. It always leads away from the typical "work day" conversation.
Classes- Take something new together. Whether it's dancing, Rock Climbing, Yoga, Hiking, writing books. Find something you both like, and try it out.
Quiet Days- It's really important to sometimes shut out the hectic days. I'm not saying do this everyday, and let's be honest, it's not always easy. But if you can find your easy day, and use it to spend quality time with one another, then that can always rekindle the spark.
Be Romantic- it doesn't have to be anything dramatic, and over the top. Light some candles. Take a picnic together.
And remember- it's okay to be a little mysterious about things. Keep your favorite episode of Kardashian to yourself, and your new ideas on life with him.
Question: Do you have any lunch ideas for people who pack their lunch everyday? Looking for something healthy that still tastes good.
Nikki: It's a great thing that you pack your own lunch. You not only use less waste by doing so, but you also save money, and can control the calories going in your body. Nothing wrong with buying out from time to time, but overall it's more efficient to pack your lunch. I have a couple of lunch ideas that are tasty, healthy, and easy to make the night before/ in the mornings ( if you're not like me, and have some time).
Salad Option:
Ingredients:
-Lettuce of your choice
- 2 Eggs
-Red Onions
- Vegetables of your choice
-Any additional protein (chicken, beef, shrimp, fish)
Dressing Directions:
- half a Tablespoon of Olive Oil
- 2 TableSpoons of Vinegar
-Sea Salt/Pepper
- Few Drops of Lemon Juice
(for a sweeter taste, remove the Lemon Juice, and add honey)
Calories: 400-500 (depending how much meat you use)
Directions:
-Lightly warm up the bread in the toaster
- Add the Turkey, and Cheese in the Sandwich
- With a Skillet, cook the sandwich on a low heat until the cheese is nicely melted
-Add Tomatoes, and Basil
Calories: 380
Beans:
They are an excellent source of Protein, and Fiber. They also keep you full, and are easy to cook with.
Ingredients:
-Beans (1 can)
- 1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil
-2 Tablespoons of Vinegar
-Lemon Juice
-Red Onions
-Cucumbers
-Basil
-Salt/Pepper
Directions:
-Drain the Beans
- Add 1 tablespoon of Olive Oil
- Add 2 Tablespoons of Red Vinegar
(- Add Lemon Juice for preference)
-Salt and Pepper
-Add Basil
- Chop the Cucumbers to small pieces and add in
-Add Red Onions
Calories: 550-600
Lunch is about variety, and healthy habits. Always make sure that your lunch has some sort of protein (red meat, seafood, beans). It's the protein that keeps you full.
Happy Lunching!
Question: How do I attract a woman? And how do I know she's into me? I've been very interested in this woman, but she is difficult to get. Very successful, and it's intimidating.
Nikki: Great question. You're not the first person who has had this question, and you won't be the last. When you first find somebody that you are interested in, the best way is to approach her immediately. Don't linger around for her, because she will lose interest, or just find somebody else completely.
1. Be confident about your approach to her.
Confidently walk up, and ask her how she is, or her name. If you know something in particular about her, maybe tell her you enjoy that hobby too?
2. Give Eye Contact
Look her straight in the eyes when you speak to her. Be careful not to stare her down, or compete in a staring contest. As she talks, notice her movements, and react with it. It's a great way to show her that you are listening to her.
3. Smile
If you smile cooly, she will almost always smile back. The second the two of you open up to a smile, the 'awkward walls,' are put down almost immediately.
4. Think of her Interests
Women are flooded in Cooking Classes, Hiking Classes, Yoga, Gym Classes.
Maybe you can pick a new hobby up, and potentially a new Girlfriend.
And always remember, that you have nothing to lose with rejection. It may sting the ego for a bit. It's better to know what happened, rather than questioning the 'what if's.'
Question: I know that nobody is perfect, but I feel that some women are able to better attract a man than others (even if they are not better looking). What's going on?
Nikki: Have you ever noticed that sometimes in relationships one partner is way better looking then the other. Sometimes you wonder, how did that even happen? Well there are reasons for it. Though looks are the first thing that draw someone to you, the rest is determined by what you stand for, what your personality is like, and the things that matter to you. From the things I've observed with close Girlfriends, to even family members, I have made a list of the top 5 things that you should try to avoid.
Of course, I'm not saying you need to change who you are as a person, but there are certain things that should be kept to yourself, or with your girlfriends (no matter how close you are with your partner).
The Top 5 things to Avoid
1. Cleaning your feet in front of him
It's very true that almost all men like clean feet, however they do not want to, nor need to see the process of it being done. You can just pretend you are genetically born with stunning feet. What does he care?
2. Lack of Confidence
If he is already with you, he's interested. If you are in a relationship with someone, that should be your automatic pass to know that he thinks you are great the way you are. If you are interested in someone, but lack confidence, he won't be interested or may not even acknowledge you. There is nothing to lose with trying a boost of confidence. If it's very difficult for you, sometimes wearing an outfit that just makes you feel comfortable, is the best thing to approach him in. A confident you will show.
3. Not eating your food on the first date.
He will be moreconscience that you didn't eat your food, rather than eating the food you ordered.
4. Playing on your phone while you are out.
If you truly have messages that are important, let your date know that you are aware of the behavior, but that it's important you take the call. At least if you tell him that you know it's not polite, he will make less of it. However, if you're just sitting on your phone during the entire night, he will not be interested in taking the relationship much further.
5. Dressing in a lot of sweats
Being down to earth is very different then constantly covering up your body. From time to time, hanging out in sweats is completely acceptable. Just don't expect your partner to be interested for very long, if he can't even show you off when you go out.
And always remember one thing- be true to who you are. Don't be with someone who expects you to change completely. That just means you are not right for each other. If you're an opinionated person, and he can't appreciate that, you shouldn't stay in that relationship. Know your grounds, first. The simple things can be tweaked.
Question: what is the best way to get over an awkward situation that has affected you or somebody else?
"Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past"
-Tryon Edwards
Nikki: unfortunately, we are all going to find ourselves in situations that we don't want to be. These can occur at work, or even with family. The easiest answer is to tell yourself, not to get involved in other people's lives, but that's not how society works. We live in a world, where connections, family, and social media is in our everyday lives.
The best way to overcome awkward situations, is to directly talk to the other party involved. I know that direct communication can be the hardest thing to do, but in the long run, it will put your mind at ease. You will save a lot of guilt by being certain about the situation.
If it's genuinely close to impossible for you to talk to the person directly, then writing an email with your feelings, and sending it to them will help. Direct confrontation can feel hostile to some, but sending out an email/writing a letter, will put all the issues out on the table. It will give the other party time to think about it, and express their feelings in an email. You never know, the other party may even feel compelled to just come and talk to you.
Just make sure your email isn't rude, and you include that you understand it's difficult for all the people involved.
This may seem difficult at the moment, but talking about it is the best way to get over the guilty feeling.
Question: With Halloween coming up, what are some fun couple theme costume ideas, that are not over used?
Nikki: Great Question! Halloween is right around the corner, and anybody who is a fan of this Holiday, knows that costumes sell fast. I've noticed that people who purchase costumes from the store, usually end up matching other people when they go out. It's always fun to be creative, especially when you want to match with your significant other without being too cliche.
California Highway Patrol: Woman: Tall Black Boots, Belly shirt (optional), 80's Hairstyle, Black sunglasses, Skirt
Man: Riding Pants, Black Boots, Sunglasses, and a tight muscle shirt.
Camera Man with Porn Star:
Woman: Button down shirt (with bra sticking out), short skirts, high platform heels. Place a 'censored' sign on your chest.
Man: Black t-shirt, jeans, camera (around neck), and 'CAMERA CREW' printed on the back of t-shirt
Batman and Robin:
Woman: Tight black jumpsuit, cut out bats and stick on outfit
Man: Black outfit, with cut out birds and stick on outfit
Pimp and Hoe:
Woman: Tight Pants, Belly cut t-shirt, long belly button ring (optional), bright eye shadow, fake lashes, platform heels
Man: Bright Color Jacket, Cane, Hat, Colorful Pants
I hope some of these ideas can get you and your partner to having a wonderful Halloween!
Always be safe, and enjoy your night.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Question: How can a man be chivalrouswith the Independent Women of 2011?
Nikki: This question comes from someone very close to my heart, and I couldn't be any happier to answer this question. Women want both their independence, and the presence of Chivalry. These are not contradicting statements. A man who truly wants to be with a woman should be able to appreciate her strength, while still proving to her that she is a woman, and respected as a woman. When a man offers Chivalrous behavior, it does not 'de-womanize' her. Men and Women are different by nature, but there is not one sex that is more superior then the other. From an evolutionary standpoint, one sex cannot live without having the other.
Chivalrous gestures were the standard 'code of ethics' for men. It's what separated the desired from the undesired. Naturally, women had different roles in early civilization. Times have changed, but chivalry should not die. "Chivalry is dead', is a myth. It's not dead, but rather progressed to different forms. It's about performing manly duties, without overpowering a woman.
Some gestures that a man can do, to show he is respectful is by
Truth- talking about the strength of your love to your woman.
Commitment- Making her feel that you are committed to her, and will always be there for her. There is nothing more valuable then showing a woman you love her, and how special she is to you.
Offer to help- Do not take control of what she is doing, but ask to help her in things she may be struggling with. By doing so, it shows that you are paying attention to her, and that you can fulfill what she can't, and vice versa.
Perform manly tasks in the household- getting groceries, fixing lights, grilling.
Desires- know what she wants, and compromise on them. If there is something that your woman has always desired, remind her that you haven't forgotten about it. Come up with a plan to achieve her desires, and perform on them.
Knowledge- know what makes your woman happy. The simple things. Getting her coffee in the morning, rubbing her feet, walking her dog. Tasks like these may seem small, but they go a very long way. I can speak on these personally.
Chivalry is not dead. Show your woman that she is your woman. Love her, and cherish her the way you promised before you married her, or committed yourself to her in a long time relationship.
Question: What are some ways I can keep my skin clear, and vibrant?
Nikki: It doesn't matter if you are a woman, or a man; glowing skin not only makes your face look brighter, but it also helps with confidence. I can speak personally, when I say that struggling with bad skin can affect your mood for the entire day. I wish there was one particular product that I can swear by, but unfortunately most of the products are the same. I've tried about everything the market has marketed to people with bad skin. I have learned that a lot of it comes from Diet/Exercise, Genetics, and Nightly Regimens.
Diet and Exercise:
The pores on your face are usually a clear indication of the foods that you've been eating.
When you consume a lot of greasy foods that are high in unhealthy fats, and white carbs (think of those 2 a.m. Wendy runs), your pores will get greasy because they are trying to release the bad products you put in your skin. Also, if you don't exercise, and sweat, your pores can also clog of oils.
So what to do?
Drink a lot of water- it doesn't need to be a set number of bottles. You have enough thing to think about during the day, and ounces of water should not be one of them. Just drink enough so that your pee is a light yellow, and that your body does not fee dehydrated.
Fruits and Vegetables- eat them. Mix them with your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and desserts. It's not only good for your skin, but also your weight. Stay away from sweets (especially if you have acne problems).
Exercise- no quicker way, then to sweat out the bad toxins in your body.
Genetics:
You don't need to go through your family album to pick blame. However, sometimes your parents skin history, will affect yours.
Nightly Regimens:
Certain techniques are strong for your skin, but if practiced on a weekly basis, is a nice blend to exfoliate your skin.
Honey Oatmeal Scrub(Good for all skin types)
Ingredients:
1 tbsp of Oatmeal (crushed)
1 tbsp of plain yogurt
Few drops of Honey
Steps:
Mix Oatmeal and Plain Yogurt together
Add a few drops of Warm Honey to the mix
Apply the mask on your face for 10-15 minutes
Rinse with warm water
Sea Salt (use on Acne Scars)
Apply Sea Salt to warm water, and scrub your face. Apply pressure that is comfortable to your skin
Vinegar (Good for removing dead skin cells)
Apply Apple Cider Vinegar in your basic Face Mask you purchase from the store
Apple Cider Vinegar can also be replaced by your toner
Question: I love pizza, but can't afford to eat it everyday! What's a low fat pizza recipe?
Nikki: Pizza is so yummy! I think most people can agree. There is also nothing wrong with splurging from time to time. However, for a more healthy choice, there are options.
One of the recipes I enjoy using tastes great, and is quick to make.
Ingredients:
Garlic
Salt & Pepper
1 Whole Wheat Naan Bread
Lemon
5 ounces of skim mozzarella
Red Pepper (optional)
Mushrooms (optional)
Basil (optional)
Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 350.
Chop all the toppings you want on your pizza (while the oven is warming up)
Season the Garlic with lemon, salt, and pepper
Place the seasoned Garlic in the oven for 5 minutes
Question: What should I do to not be nervous on a first date, and what are some date ideas?
First dates are rough.
There is a lot of anticipation the day of this event.
Some of us may put all of our eggs in one basket; "this is the man/woman of my dreams."
While for others, there is little to no interest in a potential long lasting relationship, and it's best to get over with quickly.
Regardless of which mentality we take going into the situation, they are nerve wrecking.
Going into a first date situation, you have to remember:
1. The other person is just as nervous as you are. So if you openly admit the 'nervousness' of the situation, you will automatically have something to bond over. That's what being at ease is all about- finding the same things that you have in common.
2. It's not an interview process. Make it a conversation, and loosen up. You're not the first person to go on a 'first date,' and I promise you won't be the last. Internet Dating has just been at a rise.
What can make a first date less awkward, is where you go to meet.
If you're traditional, and don't want to do too much aside from conversation:
Dinner Dates may be best. Some ideas could be Indian, Thai, Persian Cuisine. Something different that the two of you haven't tried. It's fun to talk about something you are both new to. Gives fun conversation. Nothing too serious.
Coffee Dates. Nothing more simple then meeting at a cafe to chat someone new. You could find a cafe with live music performing.
If you are looking to do something more active, and interpersonal:
You could meet at a pottery class. They offer a lot of Pottery classes in the DC area. It's an inexpensive, and memorable way to bond with someone. If you hit it off well, you could go to dinner afterwards (Google local Pottery Classes in your area).
Farmers Market- nothing more casual, yet different then trying fresh fruits for the reason. Their spiced pickles are by far the best!
A local concert/comedy Club. There are a lot of Comedy Clubs in the DC area (Google to find one close to you).
Regardless of which option you prefer, it's best to go in with an open mind. If it doesn't work, it's not big deal. Plenty of fish in the sea.
This post isn't from a particular email, but it's something I've been hearing close friends, and family talk about. It's the complaint of a difficult life; that nothing comes easy to people.
Have you ever noticed that nothing comes easy to anybody? That everybody has those "this would only happen to me," moments?
If majority of people are having those problems, then wouldn't it just be life? Isn't life what you mentally make it of?
When someone is depressed, we drug them. We medicate them, so that they are mentally are in a different state of mind. The medicine is the biological switch of your brains chemistry, to put it in simple terms.
So when we alter our way of thinking, we can be happy.
I've always struggled with the battles of stress, or getting so caught up in everyday nonsense, that I never have the time to actually step back and feel my surroundings. It got to the point, where I would have to write "DE-STRESS" in my agenda book.
Took me a few years (better late then never) to realize it wasn't okay for me to live like that. I had to make the decision for myself that I didn't want that way of life.
Started with a few new hobbies: Yoga, Swimming, Drawing, Listening to Music. None of these were cutting it for me. During Yoga I was thinking about what had to be done for the day. Music would give me headaches. Didn't have the patience for drawing. Wasn't working out.
One day I came home really late from work, and needed to walk my dog. It was probably close to midnight. Roads were quiet, streets were empty. The only noise I heard were the trees moving.
At that moment I experienced my first peace of mind. Felt like an outsider watching in to life.
Life isn't easy. It's not supposed to be.
I'm not sure when we've developed the mentality that everything in life is supposed to come to us easy.
What makes it different, is when you accept that life is challenging, and change the mentality of your outlook.
You got a flat tire, while being an hour late to work? That's a shame. Could have been a car accident waiting to happen 2 miles down the road.
Make life what you want out of it.
Being depressed is not going to get you support everyday of your life. It's flat out exhausting trying to please Negative Nancy all day long, to be bluntly real.
You need to
1. Accept the Challenges.
2. Mentally change your outlook.
Never give up. We're not given anything that we can't handle in life. Some battles are more difficult for some people, because it's our personal challenges.
A peace of mind comes from the silence of a restless mind. -Nikki
Question: In a few sentences, what are the most essential things to buy for fall, and what should I do with them?
Answer: Fall is by my personal favorite season! It's not only pleasant because the weather feels cool and crisp, but it's also the perfect season for new trends. The list of 5 recommended, are those that anybody can apply, and it will look simple- yet appropriate.
1. Red Lipstick- If you are lighter skin, apply a lighter red. If you are darker skinned, apply a darker shade.
When you do apply Red Lipstick, make sure your outfit is a solid neutral color. The Bold Red will be your pop out statement. Big fan of this color.
LANCOME is a brand I frequently shop from for Lipstick.
2. Leopard- Wear a Leopard printed shirt with jeans, tucked into high wasted skirts, with leggings, or even as an entire dress. For something more simple, buy a Leopard Headband- adds the perfect amount.
This particular pattern goes well
with all skin tones.
3. Boots- Invest in a good quality boot this season. Make sure it's a color that goes with at least four outfits. Also make sure it's a boot that you know you can walk in. Just because it's comfortable for 5 minutes in the store, doesn't mean it will be comfortable for a 8 hour workday.
4. Scarves. Bright colors. Solid Colors. Long. Short. Pair them with anything.
5. Faux Fur- obviously, for the sake of everyone, don't pair the fur with the cheetah print. Too much going on! Do however buy a Faux Fur vest to put over solid color shorts.
This season invest in key pieces that you can get a lot of wear out of. Boots, and vests are two big ones.
Question: Why do both men and women get jealous? And what should I do?
Nikki: This is a topic that gets thrown around in both the field of science, conversations with friends, and in relationships. It's one of the most amusing topics to discuss among people.
The basic 'science' reasoning:
1. There is infidelity in the relationship. If a couple is having trouble having children, they will naturally be jealous of other couples who are able to have children.
2. Men/Women feel inadequate. It's rather simple. People naturally want what they can't have.
Every day Reasoning behind this phenomena:
1. If a person doesn't feel secure about themselves, they are going to be jealous of other people. Low self- esteem also leads your partner to believe that you are cheating/ flirting with other people. When this happens, one can find themselves jealous of the person they think their partner is flirting with. It is not fair for both people in the relationship to deal with an extremely jealous partner. In the long run you can drive your partner to cheat, or end up hating you for putting them through the constant torture, and task of reassuring that nothing is wrong. If you are personally a jealous person, you need work on yourself as a person, before you decide to be in a committed relationship. 2. Being Jealous does nothing but make you personally look like an unattractive person. Nobody wants to stay long term with someone they need to constantly support, and worry about.
3. A person does not see their special qualities, so they just envy everyone else who has the appeal of a nice quality.
Solutions:
1. Make a list of your strong qualities. What truly makes you a unique person.
If being able to laugh until you cry is one of them, then write it down. Do not criticize yourself of your strong traits. Encourage them. Challenge yourself to find someone who enjoys them.
2. Remember that you are wasting quality time because jealous of other people. There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Now naturally, each individual is going to have something that you don't have. That's A LOT of time to be wasting.
3. People usually make a pudgy face when they're jealous. I don't know if anybody has noticed this, but people have less attractive faces when they are envying someone else. For that reason alone, it's not an attractive trait to have.
Make friends with people who you are jealous of. They obviously have something that you want. A friendship is a perfect way to learn their secrets.
I've noticed a few things about couples after they've been with each other for a while: They get too comfortable with one another, and lose their spark.
In one of my classes, I ever heard a woman telling another classmate that she used to be really proper when she first met her boyfriend, and now she burps in front of him all the time. When has it been okay to burp, chew with your mouth open, and act like a man in front of you man?
When you act like another 'dude' for your boyfriend, he will naturally find that lady-like woman next to you attractive. His eyes will begin to wonder, and you will get jealous, and wonder why.
The 4 best ways to keep it special
1. Have a technological free conversation for at least 30 minutes a day. This is not meant to talk about your to-do list. But how was your day. The things you did. Who you talked to.
2. Do not turn the television on in the bedroom. There will be no meaningful sex, after you've watched an hour of sitcoms. Keep the television in your living room, and leave your bedroom for sex. 3. Once a week each of you should pick something spontaneous to do. Having picnic, eating out at the first place you met, seeing a concert, skipping a day of work (....)
It's work. With the right person, it's always well worth it.
It doesn't matter what time of the day it is. We all get hunger pains at some point during the day.
Some of us choose to ignore them, and then eat massive amounts of food later in the evening, while others just eat junk food constantly throughout the day.
Think of your body as a car. You need to constantly ignite the engine.
I am going to give you a few things that I personally use when I get super hungry/ during the day.
1. Drink a bottle of skim milk at the prime of your hunger.
2. Always carry a Banana with you.
3. Eat small snacks every three hours.
4. Drink Green Tea at night.
I find drinking Green tea at night helps curb your appetite. If you're like me, and munch the most in the evenings, then you should try the Green Tea. It will really help.
Question: How can I feel confident that my partner is not cheating on me? And what's defined as cheating?
Nikki: There are two type of scenarios that a person can be stuck between.
Scenario 1: You are too protective, and paranoid. There is no trust in your relationship, which makes you believe that every late night out/ no phone call, means that your partner is screwing around with someone else.
Scenario 2: Your partner really is cheating on you. However, you stay in the relationship because there is strong love (which can still be strongly present without trust), or you are in denial, and believe the relationship can turn around over night.
Whether you're in Scenario 1/ 2, there is a problem with your relationship.
Scenario 1 Solutions: You need to talk to your partner about the ways you are feeling. You should come up with three valid causes that have made you feel this way, within the relationship you are currently in. If you've been hurt in other relationships, and think you will be betrayed by every man out there, you need to save your sob stories for your Diary. If you cannot come home with a minimum of three reasons as to why your partner has made you feel that way, then you need to not blame him/her for doing anything wrong. If you continue to accuse your partner of cheating (when they haven't), you will run them away. Instead, sit down, and talk calmly about why you feel the way you do. Mention to him/her that it's nothing they have done, and that you want them to know what is going on in your head.
It's about team work. When you've committed yourself to someone else, you are no longer two individuals, you should become a team.
Scenario 2 Solutions: The more you stay in a relationship like this, the more you are hurting yourself.
Somebody who cheats on their partner, is not a match for you. The two of you, do not sexually/emotionally compliment each other. Something is longing in your partner, and he/she finds it in another person. It's hurtful, and betraying. You feel like you got punched in the face, and that's normal.
During a heart break, your brain is releasing the same chemicals it does, were you to get punched in the face. That's why heart break really hurts a person.
Break up is not going to be easy. Nobody says it will be.
Staying in a relationship that isn't working, is more painful though.
The hardest step is taking the initiative. Once it's over, the only way is up.
Never forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and this experience will make you form smarter decisions in the future. Everybody deserves somebody that will make them happy. There is nothing abnormal about that. Even animals long for love in a partner.
Write a list of your wants in a partner, and find someone who checks off the most on that list.
Question: What makes true happiness, and how can I be happy without needing to be dependent on anybody else?
Nikki:
Don't compare yourself to other people.
Step back in the situation you are in, and look at the funny.
Think only thirty minutes ahead.
Continue Reading.
First, and foremost; there is no particular definition to happiness. One persons happiness, is not what your happiness is supposed to look like. If you compare other peoples reasons for smiling, you will never find yourself happy, because you will never be living in their life.
Happiness comes when you find things in your everyday routine that makes you happy. They are not supposed to be theatrical acts. If you think dramatic things that you would like to do to be happy, then you are setting yourself up for failure. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting a big splurge for yourself, but when the time is right. If you're financially/emotionally in a rut, then there is absolutely no reason for you to be thinking about all these big things you want to do in your life.
The things that helps me most in my life, is thinking 30 minutes ahead. If I'm at work, or in class, I find it's easy to stress about everything else I have to do in the next 12 hours. But if I look up for a moment, close my eyes, and focus on the first 30 minutes, I am able to relax my nerves and focus on the present.
(While you do take a step back from your current situation, look around and notice everybody's serious faces. It's always a little funny to think what is going on in their minds).
It's also important to remember that you're not alone when you are feeling down, or tired. I used to be one to always think that I was the only one stressed, and tired in my days. When I would look, all I focused on was everybody's lively energy, which would stress me out even more (I will take whatever they're having, please). But it was a vicious cycle, because it got to the point where I was stressing my self out when I wasn't up to par with everyone else. I find if you really take a step back, and look at your situation, keep your cool, and think of one thing to do at a time, you will dramatically improve your days.
The second part of your question is as simple and direct as the need to accept being dependent on other people. There is nothing wrong with wanting other people in your life, and needing other people to talk to. It's human nature. We've been communicating, and relying on other people for the past generations, and we will continue to do so.
