Jealousy

Question: Why do both men and women get jealous? And what should I do?

Nikki: This is a topic that gets thrown around in both the field of science, conversations with friends, and in  relationships. It's one of the most amusing topics to discuss among people.

The basic 'science' reasoning:
1. There is infidelity in the relationship. If a couple is having trouble having children, they will naturally be jealous of other couples who are able to have children.

2. Men/Women feel inadequate. It's rather simple. People naturally want what they can't have.

Every day Reasoning behind this phenomena:
1. If a person doesn't feel secure about themselves, they are going to be jealous of other people. Low self- esteem also leads your partner to believe that you are cheating/ flirting with other people. When this happens, one can find themselves jealous of the person they think their partner is flirting with.
It is not fair for both people in the relationship to deal with an extremely jealous partner. In the long run you can drive your partner to cheat, or end up hating you for putting them through the constant torture, and task of reassuring that nothing is wrong. If you are personally a jealous person, you need work on yourself as a person, before you decide to be in a committed relationship.
2. Being Jealous does nothing but make you personally look like an unattractive person. Nobody wants to stay long term with someone they need to constantly support, and worry about.
3. A person does not see their special qualities, so they just envy everyone else who has the appeal of a nice quality.



Solutions:
1. Make a list of your strong qualities. What truly makes you a unique person.
If being able to laugh until you cry is one of them, then write it down. Do not criticize yourself of your strong traits. Encourage them. Challenge yourself to find someone who enjoys them.
2. Remember that you are wasting quality time because jealous of other people. There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. Now naturally, each individual is going to have something that you don't have. That's A LOT of time to be wasting.
3. People usually make a pudgy face when they're jealous. I don't know if anybody has noticed this, but people have less attractive faces when they are envying someone else. For that reason alone, it's not an attractive trait to have.

Make friends with people who you are jealous of. They obviously have something that you want. A friendship is a perfect way to learn their secrets.