What's Cheating?

Question: How can I feel confident that my partner is not cheating on me? And what's defined as cheating?

Nikki:  There are two type of scenarios that a person can be stuck between.

Scenario 1: You are too protective, and paranoid. There is no trust in your relationship, which makes you believe that every late night out/ no phone call, means that your partner is screwing around with someone else.

Scenario 2: Your partner really is cheating on you. However, you stay in the relationship because there is strong love (which can still be strongly present without trust), or you are in denial, and believe the relationship can turn around over night.

Whether you're in Scenario 1/ 2, there is a problem with your relationship.

Scenario 1 Solutions: You need to talk to your partner about the ways you are feeling. You should come up with three valid causes that have made you feel this way, within the relationship you are currently in. If you've been hurt in other relationships, and think you will be betrayed by every man out there, you need to save your sob stories for your Diary. If you cannot come home with a minimum of three reasons as to why your partner has made you feel that way, then you need to not blame him/her for doing anything wrong. If you continue to accuse your partner of cheating (when they haven't), you will run them away. Instead, sit down, and talk calmly about why you feel the way you do. Mention to him/her that it's nothing they have done, and that you want them to know what is going on in your head.

It's about team work. When you've committed yourself to someone else, you are no longer two individuals, you should become a team. 


Scenario 2 Solutions: The more you stay in a relationship like this, the more you are hurting yourself.
Somebody who cheats on their partner, is not a match for you. The two of you, do not sexually/emotionally compliment each other. Something is longing in your partner, and he/she finds it in another person. It's hurtful, and betraying. You feel like you got punched in the face, and that's normal.
During a heart break, your brain is releasing the same chemicals it does, were you to get punched in the face. That's why heart break really hurts a person.
Break up is not going to be easy. Nobody says it will be.
Staying in a relationship that isn't working, is more painful though.

The hardest step is taking the initiative. Once it's over, the only way is up.
Never forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and this experience will make you form smarter decisions in the future. Everybody deserves somebody that will make them happy. There is nothing abnormal about that. Even animals long for love in a partner.
Write a list of your wants in a partner, and find someone who checks off the most on that list.