Gift exchanges in Relationships

Question: Why do women always need gifts or flowers to feel special and loved?

And Why do the men always have to be spontaneous  and romantic? When is it the woman's turn?

-Mr. I want Flowers too (seriously). 

                                                                                                                      

Nikki: Men and Women expect different things when they are in relationships. When you grow with your partner in a relationship, you will come to learn things about them that they like, and things that they don't like. For you specifically, it sounds like your girlfriend enjoys getting flowers from you every now and then. That's what she personally enjoys. 

Think of the things you like that your Girlfriend does for you. It could be watching a particular sports team that she has no Interest in (but pretends she does for your sake), giving massages/ back scratches, watching you play video games while her favorite show is on.. The list can continue. 

Each partner in a relationship is responsible for making their significant other happy. So if your girlfriend wants flowers from time to time, you should definitely send them. Nobody has a bad day after they receive flowers. Now, if you are buying her flowers everyday (to the point of going broke), then you shouldn't do that either. It doesn't sound like that's the problem, though. 

They don't need to be extremely extravagant flowers, either. A small bouquet is just as beautiful. It's more so the thought of "you're too sweet for thinking of me like this." 

If you really want a dozen  of red roses from your girlfriend, then ask her. Sure, it will be out of the norm, but if it's what will make you happy, then tell her. 

I've noticed in relationships some partners are more modest about what they want from their partner, so they expect them to be modest too. That's not a good way to think. Just because you aren't speaking up about what you want, doesn't mean your partner isn't supposed to speak up either. It's about communicating what you want. 

Men and Women think differently. You're absolutely right that women should be spontaneous too. It's important for both parties to get that. So if you feel like you're not getting the spontaneous treatments that you want, then you have to communicate with your girlfriend. Nothing will change until you openly communicate. Sure, she may get defensive about it (or she may not), but talk. talk. talk. Nicely tell her. It's not a big deal. She won't get offended, and it shouldn't lead to a fight. 

And from a woman's perspective: There's truly nothing more special then getting flowers that say "just because I love you." When it's spontaneous like that, you will be a very very happy man.. come night time. 

Confident vs. Cocky

Question: I want to appear confident in front of somebody I'm interested in, but I don't want to seem too cocky. What's the difference, and how should I act?

Nikki: Confident is awesome. Cocky is annoying. Although, I'm sure if I took a poll, I would come to find that there are people out there who are drawn to cocky individuals. Some women may even find it as a turn on, because it resembles a 'bad boy appeal.' For the sake of this question, I'm not pro cocky!
It's also important to remember there is a difference if you're a man or woman.

                                                                                                            


If you're a Man:

• Show you are confident by being chivalrous. My followers already know I am a big fan of someone who is chivalrous. It's true. Being a gentleman truly shows that you are confident with your gender, and who you are as a man. 
• Ask the woman questions. Don't make it an interview process, but go in depth with certain topics she talks about. Don't just stop the conversation and then bring on a new topic. This requires listening; something that needs to be practiced. 
• Smile. It always helps your case. Plus, it's hard for a woman to not smile when she is being smiled at. 
• Give compliments you are genuine about. If you truly don't have anything nice to say at that moment, don't say anything. It's obvious when a man is sincere about what he is saying. 
• Within the first few conversations learn what the woman is interested in, and take her out somewhere she would like. This is not to say you should always take her out to where she wants (that's not fair, either). However, on the first date, it's a wise choice. 

Don't: 

• Ask a dozen questions back to back, and then ask for her number. It's obvious you were not truly genuine about your intentions. 

If you're a Woman: 

• Your attire says it all. We live in a society where we judge people in 3 seconds based on what they look like. Clean, Ironed, Classic Clothing pieces always work on everybody. Several standard colored shirt, with a nice blazer works for every figure.  
• Responsibility. There is something admirable about strong women who are independent leaders, and who follow through on their word. They are not afraid to take the reins on different situations. 

Don't:

• If you're hot stuff, then more power to you. Don't make the world know that you know you're hot stuff. Keep your body parts from hanging out, and be genuine. 
• Don't take your anger out on random people. If you're having a bad day, it shouldn't spread to everybody else. Go home, unwind, and then go do your errands. Being rude to everybody around you shows that you don't care too much about anybody else but yourself. 

If you have sincere intentions, you will always come across as a confident person. Know when to stand your ground. Aside from that a nice person will always be remembered- especially because they are a dying population. 

How's Everybody?

Our Thanksgiving Meal

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everybody found themselves home with their families, or at least with somebody they care about.
I was able to see a lot of family from out of town, and had a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner.
Couldn't have asked for more.
I would also like to thank all of our military who is currently serving, and not able to be home for the Holidays. Let's always remember to give thanks to them.

What did everybody end up doing?
Any outrageous Black Friday shopping experiences?                          

November is Diabetes Awareness Month

November is the month in which we give Awareness to Diabetes.
A lot of people (until they get Diabetes), do not know exactly what it is.

What is Diabetes: It is a disease that does not allow your body to develop, or properly store Glucose (sugar). The Glucose in your bloodstream begins to buildup, and your blood sugar levels will rise.

Different Types:
Type 1 Diabetes: Your body does not produce any Insulin (which is what your body needs to properly use the Glucose in your body). Daily Insulin Injection is needed.
Type 2 Diabetes:  When your body doesn't produce enough Insulin, or is unable to properly use the insulin that it does produce.

Signs of Diabetes:

•  Frequent Thirst
• Gum Infection
• Weight Loss
• Frequent Urination 

(these are the most common signs)

Type 2 Diabetes is the more common type. However, there are ways that you can prevent it from happening. 

1. Exercise. Aside from the risk of Diabetes, and all other problems, just do it for the confidence and stress release. Even if it's for 15- 30 minutes. Take a walk outside, or head to the gym. Don't let the cold weather be an excuse- you actually burn more calories in the cold, because your body is trying to heat its self up. 

2. Watch your Sugar Intake. There is nothing wrong with sweets now and then. Just don't go overboard (especially with the Artificial Sweeteners). 

3. Be aware of your blood pressure. High Blood Pressure usually means you're overweight (which is a good starting point for Diabetes). 

Healthy Body starts at a Healthy Weight. Let's take care of ourselves, for a healthy future. 

He's not Interested, or is he?

Question: How do you know when to give up on a man that you're interested in?

                                                                                                  

Nikki: There are a lot of ways to tell if a man is interested in you. There are also a lot of clear signs to tell when somebody is not interested in you. The hardest part can be accepting that he doesn't think of you as all that compatible, even though the signs are there.

First off, if a man is into you he will go after you. Men don't play games, and tend to be confrontational. They also go after what they want. While women may play head games, and try to figure out the best time to call/ text, men will tell you directly.

The second way to tell if a man is interested is by  noticing the places he takes you/doesn't take you. If you are not going on actual dates, and find yourself only hanging out around 10 p.m., then it's time to move on. Don't hold on to something that isn't working. You're stronger than that.

Thirdly, Notice the names he calls you by. You are not somebody's buddy, or friend. If you are looking for guy friends (which I do not believe are genuine intentions), then it's okay for them to call you 'buddy, girl, dude'. If you're looking for someone who is romantically interested in you, then they will be polite when they refer to you, and treat you like a lady, and not somebody to hang out with and play video games with.

So to my follower, please remember that you are much stronger. You are able to find a hundred men who would love to be in a relationship with you. There's no reason for you to settle for somebody who calls you 'bud'. It's normal to date around for months, or even years. When the right person comes along (and they will), it will be an instant bond. There's no excuse for a man who are just starting to date, not to show you a good time, treat you like a lady, and not just call you in the evenings.

If you find yourself having trouble meeting men, then think about some local places you can volunteer with, and meet people. Maybe if there is a basketball/ baseball court close to where you live, at the gym, or even online. Online Dating isn't as Taboo as it used to be. It's now very much a social norm. Don't ever feel that you need to settle with someone who doesn't treat you right, just because you feel that you can't meet anybody else.

Much Luck.

Tonight: Open Mic in DC

BloomBars has open Mic tonight in DC.

                                                                                              


Amateur poets, singers, comedians, or dancers can perform their talents.

There is no no fee to get in, but they do suggest a 5-10 dollar donation at the door.

The event begins at 9 p.m. tonight, and should be done by 11 p.m. tonight.

Located: 3222 11th St, NW at Kenyon

If you decide to check it out, I'd love to hear how it went! It's usually a fun event to attend.

*It's every Monday. If you miss it tonight, you can always go next week.

Art Venue

Today: There is a Free Artist Venue happening in DC
Price: Free
Time: 3-6 p.m.

(post walk reception from 5-6 p.m.)                                                      
Where: 2702 and 2902 Georgia Avenue, NW
What: The Georgia Avenue Window Walk will feature Artists John Grunwell, and Emily Sloat Shaw. 


It's a beautiful Sunday to come down to DC and check out the art venue. Bring yourself, or friends. 


Hope you all enjoy! 

Fall Decor

I was looking around my room/ house, and decided I want to change things up with the space. I was looking to add a few pieces that would add some color, and would be tasteful decorating pieces.
Personally, looking outside is the best way to get ideas flowing through my mind.


Tried out some fun ideas, and maybe you'd can take some of these ideas for your own place.


1. Bowl of Red and Green- With the Holidays coming up so soon ( I can't believe it), try to get into the season. It comes once a year, and it's always fun. In your kitchen mix red fruits (think Apples, Pomegranates), with something green (I used limes) into a glass bowl. It's a fun decorating piece, and it's very affordable.

2. Fall Leaves- these leaves are the perfect shades of yellow, green, and red. So grab some of the leaves on the floor (preferably with the some stems) and place them in a vase.

Mix and Match the colors for your vases

                                                                      


3. Candles- Find an abstract piece of wood that you can place in the center of your dining room table. Cut small holes in the wood with a knife, and place candles in them. This idea is a little more time consuming, but the end result looks great.

4. Pumpkins- Something so simple can be used in so many different ways. If you're not a fan of using them for pies- creating pumpkin fall decor are perfect for the season. You can either decorate the pumpkin to what you prefer, and place in front of your door steps, or table. Another idea is simply placing a several small pumpkins in a corner of your kitchen/ living room with some candles, pears, and apples surrounding them. Makes a beautiful center piece.

The Holidays are about family, new beginnings, and a calm you. Practice the things that make you happy, and enjoy your moments with loved ones.

Stress

There are two things I find to be the worst things to deal with in everyday life. The first one is not being able to have a successful night's rest, and the rest is being stressed. You could even argue that they both go hand in hand with one another.

                                                                                                

This idea of "stress," is something that cannot be cured with medication. We want there to be a cure for it. We want an easy route- pop a pill in every morning, and we're set. Unfortunately, de-stressing requires mental work, and will power. That's why doctors don't prescribe people with 'stress,' because there is no pill that they can prescribe, and essentially make more money.

Personally, I've tried lots of things to help with stress. Reading, Writing, Blogging (?), Yoga. Nothing seemed to work. What I've realized does help is the idea of connecting your breathing, to your body and thoughts. When you take deep breaths, let yourself feel it go through your body, and let go of all thoughts. When you focus on your breathing, you should be taking your mind away from everything else.
Continue the exercise for as long as you need, or several times throughout the day.

Stress creates physical and mental illnesses. It's such a bigger problem, than we make it out to be.
Depression, Anxiety, Cancers are all created when you're body is stressed.

So today, try looking up at the sky. Realize there is more out there than the present. Focus on your breathing, body, and health.

Quote

Happy Wednesday to all. It's a good day.





“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
~ John Lennon